Finding Myself

It's official. I am taking a break from guys. I have made a few bad decisions in the past few weeks and I need to move on and focus on me. I really suck at self confidence so I'm going to start trying that now. Currently I am in the process of actually knowing how much I deserve. That I shouldn't settle for people who treat me wrong or who are only my friend when other people aren't around. And I've certainly had my fair share of not being treated right. A lot of people have. So I'd like to challenge all of you to figure out how special you really are and how much you truly deserve. Don't settle for anything less. I know this is hard to do and I know that I will struggle myself but it is best to find out exactly what you deserve in order to live a happy life. So I guess that's my inspiration for today. Also a little side note. I got so obsessed with Snapchat and I didn't even realize it. I am taking a week off from Snapchat in order to relieve me of my obsessiveness. I challenge anyone who is obsessed with a social media to take a week off and see how your life might be different. So I guess there's two challenges for you but doing them would definitely change your life for the better. That's all for now. Signing off with a very inspirational quote. 

The Struggle

Ok so I need some advice. I am going to vent about a problem I have because I literally have no one else to go to. I feel awkward talking about this to anyone else and since I don't know who you are and you don't know who I am, I feel comfortable typing this. 

So as I have typed before in these posts, I am dating a boy named Wesley. So today at lunch the guy my friend likes was texting her. She wanted me to see what he looked like so she took a snap chat and sent it to him. With me in it. I knew it was all going to go downhill from there. He snap chatted her back asking for my number. She gave it to him and he started texting me. He then asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said yes but of course he didn't freaking care! He was going to hang out with my friend this Saturday and he decided to invite me along. So I said sure thinking "No big deal". And then he continues to flirt with me and so I text my friend saying if it's ok if I come and she replied "Sure have fun on your date, now he likes you". Why does this always happen to me? And now he thinks I am going to text him tonight about what movie I want to watch with them on Saturday. Should I just not go? I don't want to ruin my friendship because of a guy! I still want to hang out with my friend but not with him around. And should I mention this to my boyfriend? I feel like he'll freak out but I'm not going to cheat on him! I'm not a cheater. 

Please help!!! There is a comment bar! I need help!!! Signing off with a comic for you.

Learning Everyday

First off, before I start writing this I'd like to say I'm sorry for it being a while since I've updated. I am so busy with school, work, friends, college, and my boyfriend that I have not had time to write on this. So on with the title prompt. A lot of people have been saying to me how much they hate school and they have senioritis and all that but it's not like if you leave school that you wont learn. Everyone is learning everyday. Learning how to cook, do the laundry, walk, talk, tie a shoe. Everything that you learn  is taught to you. 

And yeah, school is hard. I'm taking Calculus and I hate it!!! I wish that high school would teach actual meaningful stuff. For example, going grocery shopping, doing taxes, paying for college, college essays, writing a resume, or taking care of children. I mean I'm just going to have to ask my parents how to do all of that stuff when the time comes that I have to do it. But I will still have to learn all of that stuff. 

Just a funny comic to describe my last two days. Except I seriously don't know what made my stomach hurt. I ate nothing out of the ordinary and I am a very healthy eater. So I don't know... 

Well I guess that's all I have to say for this blog. Sorry it took so long for me to do it. So I'm signing off with a Foxtrot comic that is about an upcoming holiday!!

Abortion

No!! I'm not pregnant! You can stop freaking out now! No, I just heard that the Senate passed a bill that stopped funding towards Planned Parenthood. And then in my art class I have to do a controversial art project. I was thinking of doing mine on child abuse or abortion. But I mean I cannot believe they stopped funding for Planned Parenthood!! People need that to check for STD's too!! I'm not going to openly share my opinions on abortion I am just going to state some opinions that people have so that no one gets offended. People for abortion may argue about teen pregnancy or rape and girls being too young to have a baby. People against abortion may argue that people should not kill a living baby and that they can just give it to adoption or take care of it even if it was an accident. So everyone believes what they believe. 

So, controversial issues. Where to start? From gay marriage to child abuse to abortion to unequal societies and so much more. An example that my art teacher showed us for a controversial painting really inspired me. 

This is so deep!!! Oh my gosh! This is called "A Tale of Two Hoodies". He also painted a picture about how the NRA responded to that school shooting in 2012. 

What?!!! This is incredible! It makes such a deep statement! So I'm hoping to do the same with my art piece. And did you hear about the girl who made a painting of Donald Trump out of her own menstrual blood!! She did it because Donald Trump basically asked a girl reporter if it was her time of the month! That makes me so mad! Just because girls PMS doesn't mean you can blame everything we do on that! My art teacher was saying that yes it is kind of gross that she made it out of her own menstrual blood but if she just made a regular painting, no one would care. She is making a statement by painting it that way. Alright there's my rant for the day. Yeesh, there are so many problems in the world. So I'm signing off with another image with a powerful message. 

Senioritis

So I had a test today for Government and I probably should have studied for it because I'm pretty sure I did terrible on it. And you know what? I don't even care because this evening I had so much shit to do!!! I had to look at colleges and scholarships and essays and it took up my whole evening! So now I finally have time to do this post. I guess I just have to remember that colleges still look at senior year too. I probably won't even post tomorrow because I'm taking my senior pictures. So here's the shortest post reminding people to stop slacking! Ok whoo, signing off with an inspirational quote. 

Living My Life Through Others

So I know how I said yesterday that everyone is wasting their lives away on social media? Yeah I'm doing that now. I don't mean to but it's so much fun!! My sister introduced me to this new app called After School where people only from your school post stuff and it's really funny. People are even admitting who they like at our school because the posts are anonymous so no one knows who posted what. So that is how I spent my entire morning today. And by 10 in the morning, my phone was at 50%. So.... I suck. 

So of course when I looked up this picture there were tons of articles about cyber bullying and threats on this app. I haven't seen any in my school's feed yet but it's probably going to happen sooner or later. I feel like it's all fun and games at first and then it goes bad. 

I am also now obsessed with this app called Whisper. It's another anonymous thing where you can post sayings or confessions or whatever you want. But it isn't just with your school it's with everyone. I'm pretty sure cyber bullying has already started on this app. I found a post saying "The only time I can really show that I am hurt is when I'm in the shower". At the time I was looking at inspirational quotes and I found a quote that said "Your skin isn't paper, don't cut it".

So I posted that quote as a reply to that post and they replied to me. But they were nasty!! They said "I don't believe in self harm, way to judge". I wasn't judging!! I was just posting a quote!! 

I deleted my reply so that I never had to look at that response again. Some people just don't know when to stop. I love to help people so I thought, if this person is self harming themselves I want to help them because I am a nice person. I never say stuff because I'm judging. Even though that wasn't straight out cyber bullying, it still made me feel bad. 

I've heard that some people use whisper as a dating site but it's also just a place to admit stupid stuff that you can't say if anyone knew it was you. Here is an example of an After School post:

So it just appears like that with the writing and then a picture underneath it. Here is an example of a Whisper post:

So basically you can chose the font of the words and then pick a picture to go beneath it. So those are the apps that I am wasting my life on. And the thing is, if I just deleted all of it out of my life, it would make my life so much better. And I wouldn't even miss it because that isn't actually a part of your life. But I won't delete it because I love knowing what other people are doing and what is going on with everyone every second of the day. See!!! That's what I'm talking about!! You are not living your life for yourself! You are thinking about what other people are doing and how much cooler that is then what you are doing. So go out and do something cool!!!! You need to live your life and stop worrying about other's lives. 

Wow, I'm so glad I got that off my chest. The words just poured out of me. I'm going to go live my life now. Signing off with a Simpsons character with a message for me and for you. 

All The Time We Have

I cannot believe time!!

Ok, normally I don't like time because during school I hate waiting for the most boring class to end. But here's the thing, I spend my days waiting for school to get out and then urging the week to go faster so that I can get to the weekend. But then during the weekend I only spend a few hours with my family and the rest I spend at work, hoping the hours go faster. So the only real moments I enjoy are a few hours during the week and about half the days during the weekend. I'm totally wasting my life!! I only have so much time left before I go off to college and leave my family in Ohio. Plus everyone spends so much time watching T.V. and playing on their phones that they can't even have that time spent with their family!

I am going to try spending less time wasting time and more time with my family and friends. You never know how long you might have left. So I am urging everyone who is reading this post to stop with all of the useless time spent on your phone! You need to spend time with people! Get off the couch! Turn off the TV! Go outside! We only have a few warm days left until winter, we should be enjoying the last of it. Think about it. So I am signing off with a Garfield comic!!!

So Stressed

Hey so I haven't written on this in a while, sorry about that. I can't believe what went on in the last few days. I have so much freaking stuff to do!! If I was at home right now my dad would tell me to stop blogging and to go write my college admissions essay. Here is a list of things I need to do and their due dates:

1. College admissions essay due December 1st
2. Teacher recommendation letter due December 1st
3. Personal statement for college due December 1st
4. Get my licence by the end of senior year
5. Somehow have $13,000 in my bank account by the end of senior year

I am screwed!!!! Plus I have super huge writers block right now so my admissions essay and personal statement looks like crap. I can't think about anything to write about!! I am so stressed!! I need some inspiration. 

I just saw a quote that said "Stressed spelled backwards is desserts". I am so craving some desserts right now. I hate being stressed out!! So I guess this is a short post because I've got some other writing to do. Not that I can think of anything. So I'm signing off with a Hagar the Horrible comic. 

Kid Life

I want to be a kid again for just one day. Doesn't it sound fun to go back to when you have no responsibilities where you can just play with dolls and where you are energetic all day. Where you can act like an idiot and no one will tell you "Act your age!" 

I know this is going to be kind of a short blog but nothing has really happened to me recently. I mean this is probably going to jinx it and after I post this something will happen but I'll tell you about it tomorrow. To those that have not left and keep reading my posts I say Thank You! It is so great to know that people are actually enjoying what I am writing. 

So I don't actually have anything else to say but I'll try and think of something more interesting for tomorrow. Signing off with a Dennis the Menace comic!

Best Night Ever

Homecoming! The night of my dreams!! It was so much fun!!! Dancing with friends just brings so much excitement into my life!

I've decided that I am only going to be blogging during the week because the weekends are for me. Guess what! They have Sharkboy and Lavagirl on Netflix. That movie is so stupid and over dramatic but I love it anyways. My stepmom came in and watched the last half with me and then said "That was the worst movie I've ever seen" and then she turned on Gossip Girl. Just letting you know, my stepmom is not evil! She's very nice and I love her. 

Look at that!!! Taylor Lautner as a kid!! So cute! Oh and you know that guy Wesley in my "Guy Friends" post? Yeah it's all cool now because we're dating! Oh my god!! I only liked him as a friend and then on Homecoming night I started liking him! So still didn't keep a guy friend but got a great boyfriend. 

This is so true! My grandpa has threatened that if I ever bring my boyfriend over he is going to be cleaning his gun during the visit. 

I kind of want to tell any guy I have ever liked "If I stay up late for you, you mean something to me because I love my sleep". I am so tired right not because I stayed up so late texting Wesley. But it was totally worth it. 

Have any of you ever heard the song "New Americana" by Hasley? It's so good that I have been listening to it on repeat for the last three days. 

So right now I am sitting in class and my mascara and eyeliner from Homecoming is still on my eyes. It was caked on so much that it is literally still here from Saturday! It still looks good though. So I think that's it I really don't have anything else to rant or talk about. Signing off with a Foxtrot comic! 

Embarrassed?

I love my friends. Having a great friend is the best feeling in the world. I hate it when my friends do stupid things that make me look stupid with them and then I remember I love them! So I do the exact same thing. And what would you do without your friends? Even though they can be embarrassing as hell, you still love them anyway. Today at lunch my friend ate a orange peel (do not do this, its so bitter!!) and after realizing it was a terrible idea, she spit the peel back out on the table. I laughed so hard!! 

Because if you don't have embarrassing, life isn't as fun. And true friends accept your differences and problems. Dedicating this post to my friends who wont read this because they "don't like reading" I'm pretending they are reading this. I love all of my friends!! Here are minions in dedication to crazy, stupid, embarrassing, but amazing friends!

Bye my readers!! 

Homecoming-what has it turned into?

So I was in class today and this kid goes "They shouldn't call it Homecoming, they should call it the Grind". I hate to say this but that is kind of true. My group DOES NOT grind. But the entire middle of the dance floor is basically grinding and lap dancing. Which is why I stay near the edge. But how come nobody else is dancing? Grinding is NOT dancing! And the same with prom. My friends actually joined in at prom and I didn't feel comfortable so I just danced by myself near my group. Homecoming has changed a lot in the bad but also in the good. When my dad was in high school normally if you didn't have a date, you wouldn't go to homecoming. Now it's some dates and a lot of friend groups. 

This comic is what homecoming used to be. Now of course the music has changed and the clothes but since when was dancing, grinding? That's not dancing! It's not! So what if there are rap songs, dance to them not grind to them! 

I'm sorry I just had to vent about this. On a better note, homecoming is tomorrow!! I'm so excited!!! Well I'm signing off... here is a Zits comic!! This is how I feel about colleges sending me mail. I'm not going there! Stop sending stuff!!

Guy Friends

Why does this always happen to me!!!

I have only girls as friends(duh I'm a girl) but I like having guy friends! Lets go through a timeline of my guy friends:

1. Robert- friends since childhood- hit me in the face- we don't talk anymore 
2. Austin- the homecoming guy (refer to my last post, story is there)
3. Dustin- was friends with me- asked me out- I turned him down- now he doesn't think we're friends 
4. And the most recent- Wesley- liked my friend Destiny- was just friends with me- and now he likes me! 

Why!!!!! Can't I just have a guy friend who stays friends and doesn't like me like that!? Apparently not! I don't flirt with them! Well except Austin but I'm ok that we're not "just friends". But the rest I didn't flirt with and now look what happened. 

Obviously in my case this comic is the other way around for me. Because these relationships are so awkward! I just want to have a guy friend!! I need someone who doesn't like me so that I can ask them for tips on how to get OTHER guys. How to get their attention or what to talk about so boys don't think I'm boring af. I think college is my calling. Hopefully this will change in college. If not I'm screwed. Unless I actually like my guy friend and then yeah! we can totally go out! 

Am I making these blogs too short? I would totally go into more detail but I feel like that would be annoying. I don't know. Opinions? I have a comment button!

Well I'm signing off. I will leave you with this comic that expresses how I feel right now. Ah school, how I ignore you. 

People- In General

Why can't people just say what they mean? I mean we always say something to please someone else but we actually mean something else. For example, I have this guy friend. We had been flirting for about a couple of weeks so I thought Hey I should ask him to homecoming. Right? Like totally ok.

So I asked him and he said that "he wasn't a homecoming type of person". But he had never been to homecoming before! So I just let it go and then later in the week he actually confessed that he actually just didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. I could totally respect that. That made WAY more sense. I myself had just gotten out of a serious relationship and it was okay with me. 

How many times have you said "I'm fine" to someone this week? It could be saying it to anyone. And how many times were you actually fine? Never or not often, right? So why don't we just come out and say how we're actually feeling? Maybe it's just because we don't feel like actually talking to that person about what's going on but some other times it's just reflex. If you have a problem, talk to someone about it. It's good to vent for a bit. 
                                      

I found a quote earlier today, it said, "There's always a little truth behind every 'just kidding,' a little knowledge behind 'I don't know,' a little emotion behind 'I don't care,' and a little pain behind 'It's okay'". 

This is very inspirational to me. Sometimes you just have to lie but I think you should say what you mean. If you're trying to decide what to do with someone, you can still put in your input before taking their side first. I am a total doormat so I do that all the time. 

Closing off, say what you mean!!! If someone wants to know if a shirt looks good on them, they truly want your opinion. So if it looks like crap on them, please be a good friend and tell them. Well I'm leaving you now, until tomorrow. Signing off with a Garfield comic!! I love Garfield!

All About Me

I'm Elana. I'm an artist/music lover/book crazed person/future teacher/current student/writer. 

I'm guessing literally no one is going to look at this blog and that's ok because I'm doing this for me. The idea of talking through a computer and making my ideas permanent fascinates me. I love to write and I want to complain about humanity on here and try to make it better. I'm not saying that all of humanity is going to fail but I think that some things that people do are going to destroy us all. 

This photo expresses exactly how I feel. I work at Taco Bell and there are a lot of angry people that come through there. My dad says that I'm making the world better, one Taco Bell customer at a time. I'm not just going to be talking about humanity, I'm going to be talking about many different things that people do that confuse me which, of course, relates back to humanity. So I don't expect anyone to keep reading but that's ok because I want to do this for me to keep my mind in tact. So if you continue, enjoy!